Responsibility

About 4 months ago, I turned 18 and I continually told myself to be more mature and responsible.

Of course, things don’t work out the way we want them to. Despite my deepest efforts to change and grow-up, my old self grew stronger, and later wreaked havoc in the first few months of being an, eheeerm, adult.

Responsibility – a word that conjures 2 images in my head.

1st, the freedom and all the open doors and opportunities brought about by being an official adult.

And 2nd, the fear of being not enough for people and for yourself.

I guess the past few months showed me how distorted my picture of reality was. I took my responsibilities lightly and gave unmerited attention to stupid things (I  make awesome decisions. Hahahays)

Now, a lot of things are over for me. I kind of screwed up my internship. I ruined my friendship with someone very dear. I lost my life group (soon you’ll know what a life group is). I and the list continues to roll.

I have developed a sense of hatred over responsibilities. And why they have to exist. (See? I am still so immature). They always cut the fun off. They make me get out of bed early. Dugh!

In spite of it all, responsibilities taught me to let go.

To let go of my childish self and embrace the realities of life. This was where I experienced God’s mighty hand and miracles. This was where I was reminded that no matter how heavy the burdens I carry, God will always be strong and loving enough to take those burdens off my shoulder and carry it for Himself. This love has made me walk into freedom even in the face of a thousand responsibilities.

Responsibilities exposed my weaknesses, but made room for God to move in my life.

Responsibilities exposed my weaknesses, but made room for God to move in my life.

Now tell me, should I still hate responsibilities?

ΩΩΩ

It has been 4 months since I blew my birthday candles out. Life, as usual, is stubborn and refuses to give me what I want. But it has to be that way. At least, I know that now.

I am still not ready to take a lot of responsibilities. But I must start at the beginning.

And it all starts with a heart fully submitted to God and His word.

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